*** Warning: This document contains naughty words and "adult" themes. If my parents are reading this document, they are hereby asked to note the byline, because this time it's Dave's fault.***

• It has all the elements of the best kind of science-fiction adventure. A huge, powerful starship terminally disabled and in distress. The Enterprise to the rescue. The bewilderment about what happened. The discovery of a massive robotic planet-bashing shlong. The Enterprise struggling to destroy it. The planet-basher almost destroying the Enterprise. Throughout all of this your eyes are seared to the set and all you can ask is "what the hell are they going to do?"

  This entire episode is moving, involving, exciting, and the knockout ending is without question one of the more memorable in all of television.

• It is performed brilliantly. All the actors do a fantastic job of drawing us into their characters and into the flow of the story. The presence of William Windom (who portrayed the commander of the disabled starship) and his splendid performance accentuate the talents of all those around him. (If he didn't win an Emmy, he should have. -- GP)

• Its production is outstanding. A first-rate job of directing made for dazzling camera work and impeccable timing. The art design is unequaled, the special effects are stunning and the incidental music is so appropriately placed that it is unobtrusive, yet it magnifies each scene's ability to fire shivers straight through the spine.

Without a doubt, this one's the greatest.

"Wolf in the Fold" is outstanding because, like "Doomsday Machine," it too is superlative in drawing us into the story, and the production is superb. Granted, the premise is a little silly: a Jack-the-Ripper space spook leaps from planet to planet terrorzing women (Including the one with rotating hooters. -- GP) as he did on Earth, but that really doesn't detract at all. Kirk et al. have the task of determining just what the hell is happening to the women on Rip's latest excursion, and it is really involving.

In the hearing room on the Enterprise it reaches the moment when all the clues point right smack at Mr. Hengist, and when Kirk turns to him and plainly asks, "Mr. Hengist, would you take the stand," not one viewer could be sober and not feel the goosebumps lace his or her back.

Kirk, Spock and McCoy have got to try to civilize what is thought to be a malevolent society based entirely upon the cultural norms of a 1920s/mobster Chicago. Actually they encounter a bunch of bumbling goofballs who really don't know what to do with these norms under which they are expected to behave. Kirk et al. eventually outsmart them and bring at least a little harmony, but it takes some doing because even though this planet's people are ignorant, they still all carry enough automatic machine guns to send the episode into a commercial every 15 minutes just after a few are pointed at our precious captain and friends.

What makes all this great is just what Kirk and Spock must do to accomplish their mission and the interplay between the two -- as well as that between them and the "gangsters" they must humble. Great character exposition and a flowing, exciting storyline make this an excellent episode.

• Kirk and Spock: What can you say? Leonard Nimoy does Spock with his usual brilliance, while William Shatner gets to do something we rarely get to see him do: play someone else in Kirk's body. When he does, it is a joy to watch, because Shatner is such an incredible actor. Here he gets to be Garth for a moment or two, and when he gets ticked off for not being able to have an answer to Queen to Queen's level 3, we can really feel his fury. Outstanding.

• Marta: Yvonne Craig has never been one to take Oscar-winning performances into her Batgirl role, but how could anyone? Here, however, she is pretty damn good, playing to a T the flaky green Orion woman (I thought she was blue. Is she Orion for sure? If so, then I'll have to change my "black woman/blue woman" comment in the "Ostensible Babes" list. -- GP) who is like the silly dinkette at whom you scream "Would you stop fawning all over me?" but you feel for her because she is too clueless to know how to be socially or even emotionally adept. Whereas we could easily shrug when she gets a nitro tracheotomy, we actually have some feeling of pity for her.

• Garth: The fact that this is probably the best performance by a guest actor in the whole series is a fine tribute to the late Steve Ihnat. He magnificently plays the bleak shadow of one who was the greatest Star Fleet commander in history -- now condemned to a remote galactic mental institution that he has somehow taken into his control. Ihnat's ability to draw us into his character is unmatched: we truly sympathize with his demented condition, yet we're sickened by the ruthlessness it nurses. The interplay Kirk and Spock have with Garth involves us deeply and must be as well-executed as it is or else it could be reduced very easily to endlessly annoying pathos for someone with a hopeless problem no one cares about. Many kudos are highly deserved by this wonderful episode.

"Amok Time" details Spock's banging reflexes -- and, seriously now, who cares? (Nurse Chapel. -- GP) "Journey to Babel," however, presents Spock in his relationship with his family. From the beginning we are intimately drawn to why Spock seems to feel that his father is worth nothing more than Mugato feed, and vice versa. We find out that Sarek vehemently disapproved of Spock's rejection of science training on Vulcan and naturally Spock is a little bitter over his father's rejection of him and his decision to do what he felt best for him.

Well, Sarek has a heart attack and needs blood only Spock can provide. Logically, Spock would certainly help out, except that Sarek's condition conveniently coincides with a murder, the excruciatingly tense on-board presence of Kirk trying to battle an unknown alien dive-bomber spacecraft while his task is a tad aggravated by the five-inch-deep knife would in his back. Now we always thought that Vulcans have mastered thinking ("Mind over matter thinking," anyway. -- GP) to the point where it's as easy as spitting. But not for Spock here! Oh, no. He finds it is painful, and his expression at one point during all this -- when the only thing running through his mind is, "What the hell am I going to do?" is an absolute classic.

A dramatic, touching, action-sparked, and thoroughly enjoyable episode.

"How can you be lying -- if you must tell the truth but -- if you tell the truth -- you'd be lying but -- if -- you tell -- you lie -- you tell the truth but -- you -- if -- sizzle -- spittle -- splut -- fizzzz... zpipper... tssssss... glonk rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

Later Spock exhorts Scotty's help in getting the ship back to where it was and Scotty says something like "I'll keep those engines going if I've got to sit on them and nurse them myself," to which Spock replies, "That, Mr. Scott, would be not only uncomfortable, but undignified."

The second thing of note is how well the "weirdness" in this one is presented. We got a woman who is weirdly attractive who has this weird Midas touch -- except that things don't turn to gold: people turn to dead. Weird. Then we find out that only the person she claims she is "for" will be killed: "I am for you, D'Amato," she says. "Lucky D'Amato," her victim replies, sensing his imminent demise. But when she touches Kirk while she's "for" Sulu, Kirk is unharmed, and then he pushes her away, after which she weirdly folds up like a sheet of paper and vanishes as if she slipped into a different dimension. Most weird. To top this off, not only does she headline with this weird act on this planet, but she makes cameos on the Enterprise as well, which now -- as we know -- is umpteen light years away. Of course, there is a lot of weirdness in most Star Trek episodes, but I just find the weirdness in this one intriguing and imaginative.

The third thing about this one is its refreshing use of several other crewmembers as real, live, active people running a starship. Now there are a few episodes that do this well: "Naked Time," "Balance of Terror," "Squire of Gothos," "Return of the Archons" -- in fact, several of the first-season episodes. And we are talking about clearly featuring crewmembers as intelligent Star Fleet officers, not just catatonic stand-ins or victims of the token death here and there.

(In the third season of episodes, however, all we get are Kirk, Spock and McCoy; Kirk, Spock and McCoy -- Kirk, Spock and McCoy -- Kirk, Spock and McCoy. If the savage tribunal of giant orange schlernblatts gets a little unruly, Kirk is conveniently there to smack 'em around with a little kick-boxing demonstration and humble them into seeing the sense of his noble moral principles. If the landing party's fate lies in determining the time-space specifications of what will happen 10 days from now, Spock simply fiddles with his tricorder, adjusts the Gankoliploid computer of Smegron IV, attaches the the two together, and voila. If a serum needs to be developed to keep Kirk from turning into an Olglarphian gooble-fern picker, then McCoy splashes a few things together and all he needs is for Spock to give Kirk the Vulcan gall-bladder-meld to make it work. Evidently, during all these brilliantly miraculous achievements the rest of the Enterprise crew -- some 400 members -- is in some frozen dimension lock picking their collective noses. Stretches the the suspension of disbelief just a tad much, don't you think?)

In "That Which Survives" we got Science Officer D'Amato, who is introduced as a pretty bright guy. Granted, he does get wasted, but who would expect some silly woman named Losira to give anyone an instantly lethal case of skin cancer with merely a touch? We also got an on-the-ball helmswoman in Lt. Rahada to take the place of Sulu, who's in the landing party. This is so very welcome, compared to every other time Sulu is gone, when we get a dummy sitting there with a robotic arm moving up and down the helm to simulate life. We got Lt. Palmer at communications, a very adept officer and someone who can occasionally give Uhura the weekend off. (So she can continue her English lessons after having her brain spattered by Nomad. -- GP) We get a security guard who actually does something besides get killed when, at the end, Spock has him blast the threatening computer and save the day -- I mean, for cryin' out loud, it's about time they used these guys to actually do that stuff they should be doing. And finally we get Dr. M'Benga, who rarely makes an appearance in the series, but when he does it at least somewhat gives us the comforting impression that of the 400-plus crewmembers, Dr. McCoy and Nurse Chapel are not the only ones in sick bay. And M'Benga is also a doctor refreshingly presented as an intelligent, savvy guy, not some useless medical technician tweak who goes mad with the latest space schizophrenia the ship encounters.

Overall, "That Which Survives" is an imaginative, cleverly conceived, well-constructed episode that ends with a really nice (and brief) touch regarding the nature of beauty.

Here he does the psychotic Dr. Janice Lester, yet another former Kirk hon, who is an absolute loon and transfers her mind (or whatever it is) into Kirk's body. It's a blast to watch not only Kirk as Lester but also Spock et al. as astute enough individuals to figure out that Kirk is not Kirk.

Now, we can really be far from surprised that Kirk had such a flake as a former considerable love interest. From my recollection, there are four distinct considerable love interests (as opposed to the one-time-fling kind of thing he has had with virtually everything in the galaxy with breasts):

• Ruth. She says nothing (pertinent) in "Shore Leave" and is really probably as vapid as she looks. A real disappointment. (See "Let's Talk Babes.")

• Areel Shaw. The only clearly respectable one of the bunch. Not only is she pretty damn attractive, but she is very bright. As a successful lawyer (as she is featured in "Court Martial"), she -- like Kirk -- made the decision to follow her career, so at least it was a mutual decision, and both are happy. It is certain, however, that a long-distance relationship (or probably any kind of relationship, for that matter) would definitely not have been worthwhile, mostly because Kirk isn't nearly as mature as she is. (She knows what he's led by. -- GP) This is why, after his retirement from the service, Kirk will surely then just dial up Ruth. Sad. (The Making of Star Trek says that Ruth ran away and got married upon having met someone who wouldn't putter around the galaxy tongue-wrestling with every long-haired creature he encounters. Can you imagine Ruth's husband? I picture a guy who wears blue deck shoes with black socks. -- GP)

• Janet Wallace. She seems at least somewhat intelligent as a medical scientist in "Deadly Years," but her looks, coupled with that horrid beach towel she wears, irreparably destroy her attractiveness value (Which was how high to start with? -- GP). (See "Let's Talk Babes.")

• Then we got Dr. Lester, the coup de grace, if you will, of Kirk's thorough ineptitude in selecting someone for a worthwhile intimate relationship.

Now we can barely eke by in our impression of Kirk after Ruth. We are genuinely encouraged when we find that he had something with the bright Areel Shaw. We can somehow sustain at least a tinge of respect even after Dr. Wallace. But Lester blows it all to hell. Of course we get the standard attitude, "But I'm married to my ship." Yeah, sure. I think Kirk is a helluva lot more savvy than one is led to believe. (I take it that you mean "savvy" in terms of hunting for potential crotch-bending partners. -- GP)

(Listed above are the considerable love interests that we know of; there could obviously be countless others. For instance, who the heck is Helen Johansen (mentioned to Kirk in "The Menagerie"), whom he treats with a look that screams out in its subtlety: "Oh, so you know Helen Johansen, that blonde tit-factory who swore she wouldn't mention my name after that last time behind the quadrowankleforbelmodulator on Deep Space Outpost 46.") (Lord only knows what Ol' Jim did to Helen Noel at that Christmas party. -- GP)

• Joan Collins. Granted, she does a fair job of playing Edith Keeler, but after finding out how sleazy she seems to be off camera, it is a disappointment to see her here. (See "Let's Talk Babes.")

  When taking a close, dedicated STV look into the storyline, it really stretches the suspension of disbelief. I mean really. Aside from the fact that it is ingenious -- especially in the way it flows -- consider:

  • McCoy accidentally injects himself with a massive dose of cordrazine which, after he goes mad, should have with permanent brain damage or death -- or both. It is clear that only the most intensive care treatment could have salvaged any speck of his being. Yet after a cup of coffee from Edith's Soup Kitchen/Car Wash/Video Rental and a nifty little nap in the basement, he appears refreshed and ready to figure out why the hell he is in 20th century Peoria.

  • Spock manages to get himself and Kirk back to the time McCoy arrived -- within about a week or two and at the virtual exact place. With what supergodlike instrument did he achieve this hitherto impossible feat? Why, his tricorder, of course!

  • Spock then manages to foretell the future -- now get this -- a) in living black-and-white, b) focusing on specific dates with specific newspaper articles narrowed from a whole world of newspapers, and c) diplaying his predictions as two distinctly different possibilities.

  Spock: "Jim, if Edith Keeler lives, this will happen: see here. If she dies, this will happen: see here."

  "Good Lord," the standard STV should be asking, "what unbelievably massive ultra-super-god-of-godlike quadro-sonic omni-galactopowerful video predicto-sensory system could miraculously do that?"

  Spock's tricorder again? Well, not exactly. You see, he needed to plug it into some vacuum tubes that he had to shell out 39 cents each for at Norm's Hardware/Bail Bonds Shop.

  Funny, isn't it, how we discover just how much these tricorder things can really do, when they actually don't do much of anything on any other episode except go "Woooo" when Spock holds one out toward where Kirk et al. are about to encounter the dreaded fetid Zitblotch of Rigel XCIX. (They can also trace your brain patterns for the previous 24 hours, as we learned in "Wolf in the Fold" -- although we can't be sure this is true, as the psychologist who's supposed to run this check on Scotty is summarily dusted. -- GP)

  But again, aside from these far-fetched absurdities, the episode is still a fine one: well-made, fun to watch, and fairly moving, especially at the end when Kirk utters the immortal line, "Let's get the hell out of here."

• "The Enemy Within": Shatner gets to play a good Kirk and a Bad Kirk. With the opportunity to do something like this, how could he not do it brilliantly? A wonderful show to watch. ("Dr. McCoy, there's a Mr. 'Kirk' to see you." -- GP)

• "A Taste of Armageddon": The first couple of times I saw this episode, I didn't like it. It was dry, tedious and difficult to understand. Of course, I was about 12 years old then and have since come to really enjoy it. Sure it still has those silly outfits worn by the natives of Emeniar VII. Sure it has Kirk et al supposedly violating the Prime Directive. And sure it has Kirk convincing these people of the value of his own moral principle. (Truth, justice and the Earthling way. -- GP) Now, most people would argue about what right Kirk has in inflicting his views on these people, and they would be right -- if the people with whom he was dealing were not inherently inclined to accept those views to begin with. If Kirk were dealing with the Suggnerlt Neephers whose very nature compels them to kill themselves every time they vambulate (a rather unappealing and foul-smelling habit, but still common and innocuous, I'm told) (Interestingly, self-fornicating in public is an accepted -- even encouraged -- form of social interaction among the Neephers, as is sneezing directly into the food of the person sitting across from you. -- GP), then in obstructing their suicidal system he would be committing a gross and uncalled-for violation of the Prime Directive. (Kirk did this kind of thing in "The Apple" when he blasted Vaal.) But in "Taste of Armageddon," the people have the desire not to war, not to commit mass suicide, regardless of how long they have accepted their deviant behavior or how much they want to keep their hatred and its ugly consequences neat and tidy. It is great to watch Kirk take over and tell these jerks, "Tough titties, guys, it's time for production, not destruction, and if it means a real confrontation with your enemy then so be it." This is a genuinely decent episode with a great message.

  And besides, Spock nerve-pinches a guy after saying, "Pardon me, sir, but there is a multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder." I love it.

• "Mirror, Mirror": The greatest line in Star Trek lore is spoken here: "Mr. Kyle, your agonizer, please." A classic.

  Almost nobody knows how Kirk eventually does finally meet his demise, but I do. (If they can take liberties to predict what will happen in the 23rd century, who's to say we can't predict a little past that?) When he is 262 years young and reconsidering his 57th retirement, Kirk thinks he beams up to the Enterprise XXVI, when actually he beams up to the same evil Enterprise in "Mirror, Mirror." There he again meets the bearded Spock, and because he just had a long session in the senilitevaprotron, he instantly recognizes him.

  "Mr. Spock!" he exclaims. "Do you remember me?"

  "Yes I do," he replies. "And Captain Kirk," he continues, "do you remember the time we last saw each other, when I beamed you back to your own ship in your own universe, when I told you that I would consider your suggestion to make this violent society into a benevolent one, this evil culture into a virtuous one, these grossly malevolent people into kind, gentle, caring people?"

  "Yes!" Kirk says with eyes opening wide and smile turning up in excited anticipation.

  "Do you remember that?" Spock asks.

  "Yes, I do!" shouts Kirk with gleeful excitement.

  "Well, I lied," says Spock, thereupon shooting a Mordo Huezy X-10 Lasergrenade into Kirk's gut, splashing a vast and colored array of bones, flesh and vitals against the walls of the transporter chamber.

• "The Deadly Years": Everyone gets old while the Romulans threaten the Enterprise. Sounds silly, but this is really a well-done episode. Everything about it is terrific, except that it loses points for stretching our suspension of disbelief past the critical level when Kirk takes the crude serum -- untested, unproven, unbelievable -- and suddenly his decrepitly aged body returns magically to its virile, vibrant form. Yeah. Uh-huh.

• "Trouble with Tribbles": Now, I mentioned earlier that I consider a couple other episodes more fun than this one and I feel -- obviously -- that at least 10 are all-around better. Yes, this is an exceptionally well-done episode, and yes, it is a blast to watch. But it only ranks as honorable mention on my list, and here's why:

  Those fracking tribbles really grate on my nerves. It's as simple as that. No, I'm not a cleverly disguised Klingon. I'm just a normal flesh-and-blood human being with thoughts, feelings and as much sensitivity as the next guy. But one thing I am really sensitive to is the sickening, incessant coddling of cute, furry animals. Cripes, how irritating. Everyone just has to launch into such a brutally excessive, heartfelt dalliance with these things that it is downright nauseating. At least Kirk gets a clue about what a pain in the ass tribbles really are. Not only do they produce like hyperaccelerated rabbits but I have it on good authority that when they get past their 40th birthday (or 14 years old for you and me) they emit the most foul flatulence, and because their owners have irreversibly endeared themselves to them they can only work to endure the terrible discomfort.

  We can realistically assume that at the end of this episode, when all the tribbles are transported onto the Klingon ship, that the tribbles get just as painful a reception as their antagonizers. ("Mr. Kyle, your antagonizer, please." -- GP)

• "The Man Trap": The Salt Monster is the highlight of this one. (See "Monster Aliens" list.)

• "The Squire of Gothos": A lot of fun to watch what Kirk et al. must do to spank the childish Trelane.

• "Arena": Kirk vs. the Gorn. The two duke it out for about half an hour and it gets a little tiring, but it's still fun.

• "Tomorrow is Yesterday": Kirk et al. try to figure out how to return a 20th century Earthman and get to outwit some bonehead air force officers.

• "Return of the Archons": An intriguing episode throughout that has Kirk violating the Prime Directive again. So what if people want to whoop it up every for an hour every so often? Let 'em....

• "The Changeling": Nomad thinks he is reunited with his "creator," Jackson Roykirk. Boy, is he in for a surprise as Kirk outwits him and then blows him up in deep space.

• "Obsession": The vampire cloud gets Kirk all riled up with vengeance. In what for a while is a really suspenseful, exciting climax, we crack up with laughter watching Kirk and Garrovick duke it out while the cloud prepares to suck their blood. ("Ensign, do you smell...." -- GP)

• "Bread and Circuses": Spock and McCoy are forced to fight to the death with huge razor-sharp swords while Kirk is forced to determine what he can command Drusilla to do for him. A knock-out ending to boot. (Quick, what's this: Shove... rumble... grunt... groan... creak... shove... rumble... "Whoops!" "Uh-oh!" "Aaaaaaaaaaa...."? The sound of co-author Beck pushing it just a bit too far. -- GP)

• "Assignment: Earth": This was a pilot for a show featuring a kind of intergalactic James Bond. Too bad we didn't see more of it. ("Stop it! STOP IT!!" -- GP)

• "The Tholian Web": Kirk vanishes into deep-space nothingness and Spock struggles to get him back while the crew goes batty (especially Chekov) and the Tholians fly around to trap the ship in a laser net. Definitely one of the wilder ones.

• "Day of the Dove": Kind of a silly one but wonderful to watch if only for the scene between Spock and Scotty on the bridge ("Well then transfer out, freak!" Scotty screams before Spock prepares to give him the Vulcan half-nelson -- a violently painful experience, I'm told). We also get to see here a condition all STVs treasure: Chekov going mad. He just does it so well, and this time he vows revenge for his make-believe brother Pyotr's death.

• "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield": Another kind of silly one, but this one too has its memorable scenes, one of which is when Kirk et al. go through the procedural commands for the computer to blow up the ship. Everyone tries to be cool and composed, but you know they're all really shitting carboslabs, even Spock.

Spectre of the Gun": As "Amok Time" is one that everyone seems to think is so wonderful but is really rather annoying, "Spectre of the Gun" is one that everyone thinks is poor but is actually pretty enjoyable.

Apparently the Star Trek people had to think up a story and think it up quick: "Okay... lessee... ummm... Kirk and these guys go into -- trespass into space that -- oh -- these aliens have staked for themselves, and they tell the Enterprise to leave... and... they don't... so Kirk and these guys have to go through some bad experience... like... oh, lessee... a Nazi concentration camp -- no, that's an untouchable subject... besides, we've already done Nazis... how about a weird space haunted house or somethi -- no, sorry, we've done that too... Hey! Get this: we get five guys -- the usual Kirk, Spock, McCoy and, oh -- say -- Scotty and Chekov, and make them the guys that are going to get wasted by the Earps and Doc Holiday and whoever else at the gunfight at the OK Corral!"

Sounds really, really silly, doesn't it? And to be truthful, it is. Most silly. But, would you believe it, the people who put it all together, especially the actors, really give it their best, and they succeed. They all could have easily fallen into the "Omega Glory" trap: "This one is so stupid that let's just get it over with and get on with shooting 'Elaan of Troyius.'" But they didn't.

We are truly drawn into their plight and they all do an outstanding job of making us believe they are really in some neck-deep kukka and had better figure out what to do or at 5 p.m. they'll be made into bullet pin-cushions. The production value of this episode is so good that you're never really let on that you're actually following a ridiculously insipid story concept. Something is happening all the time, so we're never bored, and one of the funniest scenes in the whole series takes place here:

Mr. Scott has volunteered to test a tranquilizer-device that Kirk et al. hope will somehow disable their antagonists. To prepare, he pours himself a swig of scotch at the bar. "It's to kill the pain," he tells Spock as he downs it in a gulp.

"But this is painless," Spock assures him.

"Well, ya shoulda warned me sooner, Mr. Spock. Fire away," says Scott, to which Spock does that intensely subtle, split-second take that only he can do so well.

I have seen this episode the usual seven or eight times. I never get too tired of it. Even the gaucherie of Chekov trying to get under the dress of that painfully silly woman never disappoints because his blatant lasciviousness is rewarded with a most appropriate drilling from a very large bullet ripping through his midsection. Of course, Chekov magically recovers, but not without his just dues. (Bad petey! Bad, bad petey! -- GP)

Again, this is one of the better episodes in Star Trek, and if people would drop that pseudo-intellectually-superior-TV-critic-and-most-pious-TV-noble-message-evaluator mask, then they would see this easily.

(The following episodes, listed in order of broadcast date, merit comment because they have some special value in Star Trek lore or are unusually well-liked by most.)

• "Where No Man Has Gone Before": The second Star Trek pilot but the first in the Kirk-led years. (The first was "The Cage" (with Jeffrey Hunter as Captain Christopher Pike), later incorporated into "The Menagerie.") This episode probably has been broadcast in syndication more often than any other.

  Good points: special effects (especially the strange eyes of Mitchell and Denner), story concept, exposition (first seeing how Kirk et al. operated), sincerity of effort (as it was "opening night," so to speak).

  Bad points: predictability, uncertainty regarding production commitment (that is, there was a distinct feel that they were still working to figure out what to go with in many areas: costumes, art design, regulars for series, etc.), exposition (it all gets a little tiring after seeing it 10 times (as well as the rest of the series) for so long -- this may not seem like a valid point, but all this is in regard to the basic longtime STV, so it is valid).

• "The Menagerie": The two-parter that is also shown umpteen times more often than any other:

  Good points: story concept (especially the exceptional creativity involved in figuring out how to work "The Cage" in), performances, special effects, imagination, technical production value. (Granted, "The Cage" was the first Star Trek ever produced, so they were going to go all out -- especially in art design -- but it is still most commendable.)

  Bad points: massive inconsistency between old and new Enterprises (Granted, the nature of television production is the major culprit, but the differences between the two are just too much, and we have to compromise on our suspension of disbelief. This is the same inconsistency that we must cope with again after the gap between the series and the first movie.), exposition (Again, it's all great at first, but then it gets tiring.), redundancy (Over and over again Pike must struggle with these illusions -- each illusion is very well done, but after a while one begins to get the feeling, "All right, get on with it."), uncertainty of production commitment, mediocre story flow (Several slow points can make it drag, and we never really get a solid feel that Pike really wants to jump Vina's bones -- however they're reconstructed.) and character inconsistency. (Spock lying through his blue teeth -- no matter how noble his intentions -- is still thoroughly inexcusable.)

• "Balance of Terror": Kirk and the Enterprise do battle with the Romulans.

  Good points: production value, special effects, action/adventure-oriented, effective protagonist-antagonist portrayal, flowing storyline.

  Bad points: exposition (When we are first introduced to what a Romulan looks like, we get about five minutes watching alternating shots of the Romulan, Spock, and everyone on the bridge staring in amazement at how similar the two look. Then we get stuff like how the phasers work, how the shields work, how everyone works to operate them. Wonderful to watch at first, but if you enjoy the shows as a dedicated STV, it gets tiring after a while.), the contrived subplot of the girl losing her fiancee as the only casualty, tediosity (we hit them, they hit us, we hit them, they hit us, we hit them, annAnnannannAnnannannAnnanna...). (Music? ("Music?" Beeeeeeeeeep. "Music?" Beeeeeeeeeep. -- Alices, "I, Mudd.") -- GP)

• "Space Seed": This was the episode from which Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan was taken, and apparently it is a rather popular episode.

  Good points: flowing storyline, great performance by Ricardo Montalban ("Rich, Corinthian leather..." as Khan.

  Bad points: silly story concept (Now that we are very close to 1990 it seems hard to believe that a superhuman race would conquer the world and then find the need to hibernate in sleep chambers and then launch themselves into deep space.), believability (Much of all this is pretty hard to swallow: superhumans numbering about 20 take over a starship manned by 430 until Khan lets down his defenses for a split second so Kirk can bash him in the back with a propulsion injector rod and take back his ship... yeah, right.) and predictability. (We all know Khan is going to seduce the girl, take over he ship, then get outwitted by Kirk.)

• "Devil in the Dark": Apparently very popular because we see how a hideous monster is really just a sweet, loving mother. (See "Monster Aliens" list.)

  Good points: suspense (in anticipation of monster's discovery), unique story concept, silliness. (Most of it is just too funny, especially when Spock locks into his little mind-meld with the Horta: "Pain!... Paaaain!")

  Bad points: the monster (a major disappointment), believability, tediosity. (This episode is excitement-packed or the first 10 or 15 minutes, and then after the discovery of the monster the only thing that happens is the determination that the silicon balls are its eggs (It would probably be more interesting if the silicon eggs were its balls. -- GP); otherwise, it just seems to drag on endlessly trying to turn our initial revulsion into heart-pounding devotion to the thing and quite frankly the mediocre special effects fail big-time.)

  ---

  Copyright ©1988 by David Beck
  Last updated 7/7/96
  Gregg Pearlman, gregg@EEEEEEgp.com

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