by David Beck
Collect all of the STAR TREK[TM] figurines!
Also available for a limited time:
Arne Darvin -- Causes any small cute furry pets to go into convulsions!
Ayelborne -- Induces serious guilt about belligerent tendencies with blinding light!
Balok -- Drinks tranya without belching!
Charlie X -- Eyeballs go into skull, transferring annoying people to cornfield!
Dr. Sevrin -- Silly putty ears!
Drusilla -- Love slave designed specifically to get you to command your crew to beam down and participate in gladiator battles to the death!
Edith Keeler -- Prevents major world war but irrevocably alters future!
Elaan of Troyius -- Love tears disguise extremely obnoxious petulance!
Evil Kirk -- Drinks, cavorts, generally carries himself like a real *******!
Evil Spock -- Authentic goatee gives him ruthless desire to take command!
Gorn -- Hurls boulder while you hunch behind couch!
Janice Lester -- Exchange your psychophysical entity with hers!
Kara -- Loud and incessant confusion about Morg and Imorg makes you puke!
Khan -- Leads insurrection with superhuman strength and luxury car pitch ("Rich Corinthian leather")!
Losira -- Her touch results in painful skin condition!
Mira Romaine -- Pupils reveal evil sinister light creatures!
Miramanee -- Death after mild bump on head attracts fly buzzing around face!
Nancy Crater -- Transforms into vampire creature if not fed enough salt!
Natira -- Stunningly realistic vapidity!
Nomad -- Genuine sterilization feature makes world a better place!
Richard Daystrom -- Develops supercomputer capable of unwittingly destroying all your furniture with torpedo barrage!
Red-shirted security guard guy -- Gets wasted in excruciatingly painful way to no surprise to anyone!
T'Pring -- Refuses to put out for long agonizing periods of time!
Talos IV Keeper -- Authentic butthead cranium!
Tommy Starnes -- Simulates realistic beat-off motion!
Yang -- Mumbles words to "Pledge of Allegiance"!
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