The Sunday victory over the Dodgers was sweet: Shawn Estes et al. gave up several hits and no runs, as the Giants won 3-0.

However, as Jay Heater of the Contra Costa Times writes, "Umpire Gerry Davis strolled out from behind home plate in the sixth inning Sunday to do a little housekeeping, but he didn't get out his brush.

"Davis instead stopped in front of the plate and stared down Giants pitcher Shawn Estes, who jerked his head in reaction to Davis' call on an 0-2 pitch to Bobby Bonilla. Estes, who had fooled Bonilla with two breaking pitches, thought he had slipped a fastball past the Dodgers slugger for strike three."

"Not that we couldn't see that coming," says Greg L.

"Although Estes' reaction was obvious, it didn't seem to warrant Davis' ire," says Heater. "Estes then threw three consecutive balls to Bonilla to issue a walk and load the bases with one out."

"Still," says Greg, "Estes should be smart enough to keep that to himself, even if it's not warranted by Davis."

To me, Estes just looked disappointed that he didn't get the call. The umpire decided that this meant, "You shmuck! You should've given me that call!" The idea that maybe Estes' reaction meant, "Damn -- close but not close enough" never seemed to cross Davis' or the writers' minds. I haven't seen a quote from Estes or Davis on the matter, either.

Davis is a major league umpire. He is therefore a hothead who assumes that the fans pay money to watch him throw out their players. The hell with him.

"How long is the Winters suspension going to be?" says Gunman. "Oh. I see."

"Richie Phillips would hold women and children hostage in the local Gymboree if that happened," says Tim I.

Says Joe Roderick -- before the suspension was handed down, that is -- "The Giants shouldn't worry too much, as a source close to the incident said Hayes probably won't be suspended."

This tells you already that Hayes would be sitting.

"Hayes, although admitting he regretted the incident and lashing out at Winters after the game, didn't think his actions deserved additional punishment.

"'I don't see why I should get suspended,' he said. 'I guess I threatened him. I didn't consider it a threat. I didn't strike him. Why speculate (on a suspension). If something is going to happen, it's going to happen.'"

The funny thing here is that recently John Franco was slapped with a suspension for actual physical contact with an umpire. His sentence? Three games. And you know Hayes has already taken note. In fact, a recent quote was to the effect of, "Great: Franco actually bumps the guy and gets three games. I don't even touch him, and I get two?"

"To review," says Heater, "Hayes was unhappy with a called strike by Winters during an eighth-inning at-bat in Thursday's 5-2 loss to the A's. He popped out to third on the next pitch to end the inning, then began jawing with Winters as he was about to take his position for the ninth inning. Hayes had to be physically restrained by manager Dusty Baker and coach Carlos Alfonso -- with Baker and Hayes tumbling to the ground -- before several other Giants joined in the fray to assist Hayes off the field.

"Hayes said Winters cursed him and told him to get off the field. Hayes said after the game, 'The next one that says that to me, I'll hit him in the mouth.'

"Hayes apologized for blasting Winters after the game and for his behavior on the field.

"'Maybe I never should have used those words,' Hayes said. 'In the heat of the battle, you say things you regret later on. I'm not that kind of person to get upset like that. Something was said to tick me off. My best reaction was to not say anything.

"'I felt embarrassed -- for myself and for the Giants organization and for my son (Charles Jr.) He's never seen me act like that. You think about things afterward and the best thing to do would have been to leave it as it was and be quiet. Hopefully this will be over with soon and we can move on.'"

"Even if Hayes was right, sometimes ya gotta suck it up, swallow you're pride, and say you're sorry (even when you're not)," says Carlos. "Of course, if Winters had class, he would have admitted to saying what Hayes claimed."

I think Carlos answered his own question. The dude's a major league umpire. Class?

Jim Van Vliet of the Sacramento Bee quotes Hayes thus: "It was a bad call, and when I asked him about it, he told me to go bleep myself. That's when I snapped. I never disrespected him, but for some reason he thinks he can disrespect us. It was a normal conversation about balls and strikes. I just want right to be right and wrong to be wrong." And he quotes Winters thus: "I don't think I said that.... He kept popping off after he popped up.... I simply had enough."

And he quotes Brian Johnson -- ejected the previous night by Steve Rippley despite not showing the clown up in any way -- thus: "If I'm not doing my job, I get demoted to Triple A. But there's no such checks and balances for umpires. There's got to be a better system."

Jeff C. points out that of the four times Hayes has been ejected in his career, Winters has had the honors three times. "I was watching the rebroadcast of the game on Fox Sports Bay Area, specifically to see what I missed in that inning. The blowup basically occurred after they had broken away for commercials, but as Sonny Jackson and Ron Wotus were just getting Charlie into the tunnel, you could catch him yelling 'I'm sick of his shit!' To me that means Charlie definitely has history with Winters and has a long memory about it, too."

Writes Roderick later, "Giants infielder Charlie Hayes was suspended for two games and fined $1,000 for his confrontation with umpire Mike Winters on Thursday.

"The punishment was handed out, according to National League vice president Katy Feeney, 'for arguing balls and strikes, personal profanity directed at an umpire and menacing behavior, including charging toward an umpire.'

"Hayes will appeal the suspension, according to his agent, Tommy Tanzer, and can continue playing pending a hearing.

"'Even if the penalty was no suspension and one cent, we'd still appeal it,' Tanzer said. 'This umpire provoked this. The umpire has no right to swear at players and then wait for a response and eject him and hope the player is suspended. He swore at Charlie four times. The fourth time, Charlie went ballistic.'"

I'd love to see this hold water. It won't, but I'd love it.

"'(During the appeal hearing) we want (Winters) to look us straight in the face and say he didn't swear,' Tanzer said. 'If he says he didn't, he's a better liar than an umpire.'"

I'm guessing he's already a better liar than an umpire.

I believe I may have mentioned this already: I'm very, very tired of the fact that major league umpires do not have to be accountable for their actions. You are not the show, fellas. People do not attend ballgames to watch you screw people. So if you can't get your act together, go screw yourselves -- as Mike Winter might say.

This bothers "Your Name," and me as well.

"If I was Bret Boone, I'd be pretty steamed. I don't think I'd call it a cheap shot, but it certainly wasn't something Kent should have said," says Your Name.

Agreed. This is clubhouse-wall fodder. It's silly macho posturing, really, and hey, Kent's just saying how he feels. But feeling it is one thing; saying it is another.

"True, Boone was in the minors last year, but what bearing does that have on this year?"

Exactly. I mean, so was Bill Mueller (albeit on rehab). It means nothing.

"Greg Vaughn was terrible last year, hitting .216. Scott Brosius hit .203 last season. 1997 stats have nothing to do with 1998 All-Star selections. Sounds like serious sour grapes to me."

No, I think it is serious sour grapes. Nothing subjective about it. Besides, Kent's 1997 stats aren't likely to have gotten him anywhere, either. I think he was just blowing off steam there because he was fed up with being injured.

"Kent has a tendency to sound like a petulant child in the newspapers on occasion," says Greg L. "He hasn't had enough playing time to warrant a selection as far as I'm concerned, and definitely not if he's disabled. On the other hand, he sounds like a perfect candidate to be an umpire when he retires."

I can't see that.... I would agree, though, that he can be kind of a dork sometimes -- which does not negate the fact that he's a quote machine and otherwise likable.

I'm surprised -- not that Poole was dusted, but that it took so long: two years after he arrived, almost to the day. I'm disappointed because he did so well in 1996.

"Congrats! You all got your wish," says Kent. "It's a black day in Giants history as Jose Bautista, excuse me, Jim Poole has been designated for assignment. At least he handled it with class. A good guy, a bad pitcher."

"I want to add something here," says Henry. "Jim Poole was one of the most dedicated and hard-working players I have ever covered, spending hours keeping himself in shape and trying to fix what was wrong with him. He happened to be a good pitcher who, for some reason, stopped knowing how to fool hitters after the 1996 season.

"I know it's fun to bash people on these bulletin boards, but I, for one want to say that in no way was Poole a 'bum.'' I will miss him around as a person. Of course, this was the right move to make. If he wasn't in the middle of a two-year, $1.8 million contract, he probably would have been gone last year."

In the few interviews I've heard with Poole, he always sounded like one of the good guys. (I'll admit to having lost patience with him also, though....)

I wonder whether "designated for assignment" in this case means that they're going to release him unless they can trade him (which probably they can't), or if they plan on sending him to Fresno if he clears waivers.

"I suspect that the Giants have tried to trade Poole, even offering to pay part of his salary, with no takers," says Henry. "There were times Poole pitched in the last few weeks in situations where he usually would not throw, signaling that he was being showcased. And I'm sure they'll continue to seek a deal, even if it means paying all of the remainder of his contract, if they can get something for him."

My understanding is that they have 10 days to release or demote him, or seven days to trade him. So we'll find out pretty soon....

"Ordinarily, veteran players like Poole decline to accept the minor-league assignment, but he has an interesting decision to make. If he does so, he will forfeit something like $400,000 left on his contract. I don't know about you, but I would pitch at supermarket grand openings for that kind of dough."

Damn straight. I'm thinking that he might well end up at Fresno if for no other reason than because it's not inconsistent with the Giants' M.O. to do that with their seriously screwed-up pitchers (e.g., Bautista and VanLandingham). If the lad can't get himself a major league job and the Giants are offering him some time in Fresno to try and get straightened out, I'd say this has to beat the hell out of suddenly having to put that electrical engineering degree to work.

Carlos says, "I was really hoping that Poole would return to pre-1997 effectiveness this year, but he didn't. It's a bummer because he's definitely an underdog, and those are the ones I pull for most."

Jim describes Poole thus: "Unconscionably, unreasonably bad, every single time."

"You obviously missed that marathon game in St. Louis, where Poole pitched three great scoreless innings to give the Giants a chance to win it," says Tim. "Nevertheless, replace 'every single time' with 'most of the time' and, alas, you'd be right on target."

I really wonder what happened with Poole. I mean, when he came over, he was basically unhittable. Could it really be that the league sussed him out big-time in half a season? I don't have the numbers, but my recollection is that in 1996, as a Giant, he got hit hard twice but was awesome otherwise -- in fact, he might not even have been scored upon in his other appearances. Seriously. The only reason his ERA was as high as it was -- something like 2.65 -- was because I attended a late-season game against the Pirates in which he pitched batting practice. So blame me.

That day he pitched two-plus innings, I think, which went against how Dusty had been using him, i.e., basically as a one-inning man or lefty specialist. In 1997 he made Poole a lefty long man -- in which role, as I said, I watched him get bombed. So I'm wondering if his usage is a large factor in his implosion. (Well, that plus the fact that his 1996 curve is now flitting about the ether, waiting for a new arm to call home.)

Joe Roderick quotes Poole as saying, "I don't know if it's that surprising. In four of my last six outings I allowed (12) runs. Last year wasn't a gem, either. The way they're using the right-handers and (lefty) Rich Rodriguez, they need somebody they can trust. I had become a liability. They had no confidence to put me in certain situations."

Wow. I mean, yeah, he's right, but this is amazingly honest and non-self-deluding, which makes the guy nearly unique among professional athletes....

Dusty Baker says, "It was just the bottom line. We stuck with it as long as we could."

This too is amazingly honest.

"'Barry, what do you think about the Giants' second-half chances? You guys are in a hole, obviously. Do you think you can get out of it?'

"Bonds snapped, 'What hole?'"

"Snapped." Has to be "snapped." Can't be "said." Would Bill Mueller have "snapped" this? Or even Dusty Baker?

"And Bonds had a point," says Saxon. "Before baseball made the revolutionary decision to embrace the football-like wild card, the Giants would have been in quite a hole, 5 games behind the first-place San Diego Padres."

Have these folks learned nothing? Five games back at the break isn't exactly buried, even for the Giants. "In a nutshell, Giants fans should be thankful for the wild card."

Oh, shut up, Mark.

Could be that the whole team's a bit testy after their miserable showing against the Rockies. John Shea of the Examiner says, "Third baseman Charlie Hayes had two chances to apply a tag. Both times, he mysteriously did not.

"Mike Lansing tried stealing third in the fourth inning and Hayes might have had a play after taking catcher Brent Mayne's high throw. But he never reached down with his glove. In the sixth, when Ellis Burks tripled to right, Hayes short-hopped Jeff Kent's relay and didn't attempt a tag.

"'How can you put the tag on when the he throws the ball over there?' Hayes said of Mayne's attempt. "The guy was safe. He was two steps from me when the catcher threw the ball. Save your energy. There was no chance. Terrible throw.'"

Amazing. Nice to hear about this, if you're Mayne, even if Hayes was right. I can't remember the last time I heard a player criticize the play one of his teammates in print.

Of the Saturday game, Nick Peters of the Sacramento Bee says, "Orel Hershiser and the Giants entered the bottom of the seventh with a 4-2 lead. With two outs and none on, pinch-hitter Jeff Barry shot a single past first baseman J.T. Snow."

"Single" my endoplasmic reticulum. Highly fieldable ball. Should have been fielded. No excuse. And Jater agrees.

This reminds me that lately -- I don't know how long this trend has been in place -- I've seen a lot of balls go over or under the glove of infielders (interesting Freudian typo, till I corrected it: "unfielders") and skip into the outfield because the fielders were playing it off to the side instead of getting in front of it. Not being up on the latest coaching theories, is there a good reason not to get in front of the ball, aside from dental concerns?

Here are some of the names we've seen lately of players in whom the Giants supposedly are interested: Joe Carter, Eric Davis, Reggie Sanders, Brian Jordan, and Bernard Gilkey -- whose first name I know I would type as "Benard," even after Marvin left the team.

Steven R. provides the following open letter for our perusal:

Dear Mr. Sabean:

Please do not trade for Joe Carter.

You're welcome.

Steven R.
Giants Fan.

Gunman's being facetious, in case you're worried.

I hadn't heard this rumor, and Ben F. says, "Possible deal or rumored deal was Joe Carter for Julian Tavarez. Personally I don't like it."

I'll let you know how I feel after I heave.

Greg L. says, "Steven, have you forgotten the events that led up to the J.T. Snow trade so soon? I must reverse your evil curse." He provides this letter:

Dear Mr. Sabean:

Please, please trade for Joe Carter. And while you're at it, please acquire Ozzie Guillen, a solid major leaguer and bring Ozzie Smith out of retirement, as we need another switch-hitter on the bench.

Please ignore the lunatic ravings above of Steven R. He does not reflect the wishes of the greater, more thoughtful portion of alt.sports.baseball.sf-giants. And we still love that Jate trade, by the way.

Sincerely,

Greg L.
Amateur Witch Doctor

I don't want Carter on this team at all. For what it's worth, though, a recent Chronicle characterized Brian Sabean as "reluctant to move anyone on the 25-man roster," but who knows what that really means?

"Could it mean... Jacob Cruz? Wilson Delgado? Dante Powell?" says Edith.

This is what I'm thinking. Or maybe someone better... further down in the system... with names like, oh, I dunno... Grilli....

"Hallelujah, it means Deeeeeeaz!": says Dan M. "Right? Doesn't it? Right? C'mon, that's what it means, doesn't it?"

Well, see, sure, we'd be getting rid of Diaz, but at what price?

"I wouldn't trade Diaz for Carter, even-up," says Brian P. "Diaz at least can be sent down. Carter would be clogging up right field for the rest of the year at least (being a 'proven RBI man' and all)."

"I'd take Apple Cinnamon Cheerios for him!" says James R.

I'd probably settle for Honey Nut, but I'd try and hold out for the Apple Cinnamon.

"I think you misunderstand," says David N. "As an Orioles fan, I'll give you Apple Cinnamon Cheerios if you'll take Carter."

"Seriously though," says "Curveball," "Carter is 38! His bat has slowed down and he can't cover the outside of the plate. This could be especially bad in the National League, where the strike zone tends to be more horizontal than then the "vertical" American League."

"And speaking of horizontal and vertical, those are two directions that Joe Carter is incapable of moving when a ball is hit his way in the outfield," says David.

-- Dan throws in his two cents: "How about Sammy Sosa and Kerry Wood for Alex Diaz and a bag of corn chips?" he says. "The Cubs can use corn chips, can't they?"

CHICAGO -- The Cubs and Giants almost had a deal done, but Giants General Manager Brian Sabean turned it down at the last minute. Said Cubs General Manager Ed Lynch, or whoever, "We were so close. We almost had Alex Diaz, and all we would've had to give up is some unproven rookie and an overrated, strikeout-prone power hitter who just happened to have a lucky month, but then we got greedy."

Said Sabean, "We offered Fritos. They wanted baked Tostitos. Not fried. Sorry, but a demand like that is patently ridiculous."

Earlier the Cubs turned down a similar deal involving United Airlines landing gear.

• The Giants inquired after Jeffrey Hammonds of the Orioles, who is available, but got scared off by his long-term contract and history of injuries.

• The Giants also inquired after Eric Davis, but were told by the Orioles that he is not available (which is kind of surprising to me).

  [And his injury (and illness) history didn't concern them? -- GP]

• The Orioles strongly pushed Joe Carter on the Giants, but, according to Beaton, the Giants "wisely declined". Feel better, Steven?

  [Steven, may I speak for you? Okay then: Yes. Me too.

  "Me three," adds Tom A.

  "Not me," says David N. "I really really wish Sabean would make this deal. It would help a lot."

  Well, on this occasion, David doesn't count. He's an Orioles fan. -- GP]

  "If the Giants get Joe Carter, I sure hope at least one local baseball writer gives a bit of stathead perspective on why we think it would be a terrible idea," says Steven R.

  Why wait till we get him? Why not launch a gentle pre-emptive strike, as we're attempting to do now?

  "I'm not asking for a 100% anti-Joe screed, just something to balance the 'veteran power-hitter' crap that is sure to spew from the mouths of Dusty and Sabean if this actually happens.

  "In case any such writers are looking for background material, here goes: Joe Carter has, over time, become the poster child for what a stathead sees as overrated. His single greatest attribute is that he gets lots of RBI. Statheads are mistrustful of the uses to which people put RBI, and are not convinced that Carter's RBI say anything significant about his offensive contributions. Meanwhile, his career OBP is barely over .300, which is awful in the extreme. If his slugging percentage were over .500, you might live with the OBP, just like we used to when Matt Williams was a Giant... but Carter's career slugging percentage is around .460, and he has only surpassed .500 three times in 15 seasons.

  "Furthermore, whatever positive value Carter might have had on offense is in the past. The man is 38 years old."

  I keep thinking about Al Rosen saying that he wasn't interested in Carter because, "Sure, the man drives in 100 runs a year, but he's a .240 hitter, f'cryin' out loud." I thought he was a moron for that -- and maybe he was, 'cause Carter wasn't all that bad then, was he? Still, it's funny that he made the right decision, even if it was for the wrong reasons.

  "So what do we have? A guy almost a decade past a peak that was never as high as some would suggest, who doesn't get on base, who isn't any good with the glove. Please, Sabean, keep away from this guy, and please, local press, if the Giants are stupid enough to make this move (i.e., if Brian really is an idiot), don't just print the party line. Throw in a paragraph that shows you know what's real."

• Beaton implied that Dante Bichette is going to be moved, but he didn't think the Rockies would want to trade him within the division.

• Probably the most interesting thing he said was that he thought the Angels are willing to trade Jim Edmonds for the right, high price (seems unlikely, but he said they wanted to move Erstad back to the outfield).

• Brian Jordan was discussed, but Beaton said he doesn't think Jordan is going anywhere.

Either of these last two guys would be pretty cool, though I'm holding out for Tim Salmon when he can play defense again. I mean, why not?

"He ended the segment suggesting that Giant fans keep their eyes on Bichette and Edmonds as real possibilities for the Giants," Richard says.

Don't trust Bichette. He'll break our hearts. (He already did that in yesterday's game, but I mean it a different way....)

"Bichette is a bum," says Tom A. "Overrated hitter and a terrible fielder. Not quite down to Glenallen levels, but I bet he makes Candy Maldonado look good. Plus, as dumb as a box of rocks. Diaz for Bichette would be a plus, but anything else? Faggedaboudit.

"Edmonds is a player. He'd be worth giving up something for. His stats are pretty similar to Salmon's over the last couple of years, and he's a better fielder than Salmon (though they're both above average)."

Curveball says, "Edmonds may be available but the Halos are looking for a pitcher, not a another outfielder."

Which could be okay, as the rumors are that the Giants have a surplus in pitching. (I'm not sure how that's true, but I'll try and roll with the punches.)

"As for Bichette, forget it. Over the last three years, .392 at Coors, about .260 everywhere else, and only about 30% of his total home runs -- and I agree about the intelligence of a rock."

Igneous or sedimentary?

"Metamorphic," says Tom.

Seriously, is he really that dim? I've only seen him in one interview, and I thought he came across just fine. (Not that this is a ringing endorsement of him as a player.)

"I've seen some 'bits' on him from a couple of years back where they were trying to portray him as this sort of 'fun eccentric guy that the Colorado fans just love' but you could read not too far between the lines that he was a bit of an oaf," Tom says.

"Actually, when Bichette was with the Angels before the expansion draft, I remember a quote from their manager saying that he was the dumbest player he had ever coached," says Andy W. "Now, he didn't use the word 'dumb,' but I don't remember what it was. However, there was no getting around what the manager was trying to say. My friend (who's an Angels fan) and I couldn't believe that someone would say that about their player. Reminds me of the Tony LaRussa 'Village Idiot' comment about Ruben Sierra. Classic stuff."

I don't really care how smart he is. I just figure that if we pick up Bichette and stick him in right field, he'll be marginally better than Glenallen Hill. Not that I want the guy on my team.

"I agree with you precisely. Problem is, we would naturally pay superstar prices for a player who is 'marginally better than Glenallen Hill,' which also means 'not quite as good as last year's Stan Javier, all things considered.' Blech. But yes, still an improvement on this year's Stanny."

Sad.

By the way, remember when G-Hill was negotiating before the 1996 season, and his agent demanded Bichette money? Bob Quinn said on the radio, "Does anyone really think Glenallen Hill is worth what Dante Bichette makes?"

"Even though I mentioned this in my column Tuesday, I doubt it will happen."

Oh, my gosh. "'Even though...,'" says Dan M. "Oh, Henry, don't go over to the dark side! You know what will happen now that you 'doubt' it will happen. Tell me you were just taunting the Gods with reverse psychology... please. Maybe an article about the unretirement of Eddie Murray to play for his good bud Dusty would be a better 'I doubt it will happen' story."

"To be real honest," Henry says, "I think Brian is shifting his thinking away from that 'big-hitting right fielder' now that J.T. seems right, Javier is hitting, and Kent is on the way back. Brian is a big believer in pitching, pitching, pitching, and it is my sense he would like to bolster the staff not only for August and September, but also for the postseason should they make it."

I think that needs to be the case anyway -- not that I have a real good sense of what the Giants would be willing to deal.

"When you think about it, the Giants' biggest potential for disaster later in the summer is having three 'oldtimers' in the rotation all gassing out at the same time. So, maybe Sabean will take a shot at Carlos Perez, Kenny Rogers or some other starter being shopped by a team that's out of it.

"As the Alvarez/Hernandez/Darwin acquisition showed, Sabean believes you can't have enough pitching."

"Sabean said as much during his interview on the Fox broadcast," says Clayton.

"If he feels pitching is such a big need, why does he allow Gardner and Darwin to continue getting starts without giving Ortiz a chance to be that extra pitcher that he says the Giants need?" says Greg L.

You know why. Gardner and Darwin are P----- M---- L------s.

"Which I think is true -- they do need at least one better starting pitcher. I just think a partial solution may be already in their system. And despite Javier's recent streak, batting him cleanup? It's a joke. Even plugging Kent back into the lineup misses the point that there are plenty of available and better players to put in right field than Javier. He needs to be replaced not so much because the Giants can't make up for his lack of power elsewhere, but because there are so many better right fielders out there than Javier."

But whoever Sabean goes after, especially if he's a pitcher, it'd be nice if he'd pick up a stud who won't walk after the season.

"Well, the Giants would have to make a financial commitment prior to opening Pac Bell Park if they get somebody who'll be a free agent at the end of the year," says Greg. "I think either Alvarez or Hernandez would have stayed had the Giants willingly put up a competitive offer. Wisely, the Giants held onto their money, though they later plunked it down on Nen, which has also appeared to be a good move. But unless they're willing to jump-start things this year and put the money into somebody to get them to stick around past the end of the year, I really expect the Giants to deal some minor prospects for a short-term fix and take the compensation picks. If anything happens at all."

I think those last five words are key -- but I'm guessing that Greg's guess is a good guess.

"It's just so strussfrating that one of the potential solutions to the 'Three Old Guys' pitching problem is accumulating enough miles to win a free bus trip to Nova Scotia."

Which I hear is lovely.

I do think they're going to have to call up Ortiz again and spot-start him. Nobody has started a game aside from the guys already in the rotation, and a lot of hopes are being pinned on the Three Old Guys. I don't see how that can possibly hold up.

As for the Giants' need for power, Gary Peterson of the Contra Costa Times says, "there is more than one way to measure the hole Kent left in the lineup when he was hurt June 9. Here is perhaps the most telling: At the time of his injury, Kent was second on the team with 49 RBI. Barry Bonds led with 50. Nearly a month later, Kent remains second on the team with 49 RBI.

"Bonds has 59, having hit .197 with four homers and nine RBI in the interim. Project those numbers over a full season and you have 27 homers and 61 RBI, which is a fine piece of work if you happen to be Steve Balboni."

It's been pointed out in the Giants newsgroup, by several wiser than I, that the "interim" has also been a period of sore necks, sore backs, food poisoning....

"For a team that appeared a shade light on offense before Kent was injured," Peterson says, "those would seem to be red-flag projections. But while general manager Brian Sabean professes to be working the phones, he appears unflustered, unurged and (perhaps) unauthorized to make a trade that would fetch the Giants, say, a Joe Carter or a Reggie Sanders."

Wisely unauthorized. Clearly this guy hates the Giants.

"Fortunately," Greg says, "Sabean's not unconsciously stupid either. He does need to make a trade, but those aren't the ones. My suspicion is that this time of year is GMs playing chicken, and Lasorda is the first one to have blinked and swerved."

"The Padres?" says Peterson. "They may or may not spit the bit. They're on track to win 105 games, which would seem to be a bit of an ambitious pace. 'They're going to have some bad streaks,' [Brent] Mayne said. 'They may have a couple injuries.'"

"But they've already had some injuries," Greg points out. "The injuries that could potentially kill them would be Greg Vaughn, Kevin Brown, or Andy Ashby (unless Ashby goes cold). Plus, Ruben Rivera has been a good injury replacement."

"If I'm the Giant's brass and want to upgrade my outfield with an acquisition," says Kevin, "the guy I would go after is Devon White. He's a Gold Glover who could play right field with some power and speed. Only negative is that he strikes out too much, but as long as he hits .280 I'll take it -- bat him leadoff with maybe Hamilton or Mueller second."

"Blugh," offers Seth. "White is an OBP sinkhole, and not the base stealer he once was. If the Giants got him, I'd bat him sixth or so. He'd add more punch to the lower part of the order, but that's about it.

"I wouldn't mind Ellis Burks, though he'll be a free agent after this year. I thought the Giants should've signed him before the Rockies did. Then again, that Coors Effect sure helped turn around his career.

"What's up with Al Martin? If he's really available, he might be an intriguing choice, though he'd also be a guy I'd bat fifth or sixth, at best. I'd still rather get Edmonds, though the cost will undoubtedly be dear. Would a first-place team really be willing to jettison a good player like that?

I just don't see Sabean picking up a guy like Martin or Sanders or Carter, who would at best be incremental upgrades in right field (except in Carter's case, which would simply be a big step in the wrong direction)."

"From another synapse I get this memory of myself at age eight in Seals Stadium, right field bleachers, my first game, Giants and Phillies. Kicking the empty bench seat in front of me until this large [gentleman] comes from about ten feet down the bench to ask my dad to have me stop kicking the bench. Didn't get to another game with my dad until I was a teenager. I am pleased to see you are more understanding of the vagaries of being so young, believe me; although I clearly remember how large that man was, I also clearly remember the home run Willie Mays hit, and it is a cherished memory."

I'm guessing that my son, Adam, has zero cherished memories of baseball at this point, but I think he likes the idea of going, if not actually being there. Last year I took him to a game early in the season, and a few weeks later I went out to the yard, via my sister's. Well, Adam saw me, in my Giants togs, heading out the door, and he assumed I was making a food run first, then coming back to get him. Which I wasn't.

So I got to my sister's, only to discover that my wife has called to say that Adam was, like, despondent. And indeed, over the phone, he was profoundly pitiful. So I promised to take him next time... and I did... and he was a pain.... So in a message that should be familiar to any Giants fan, I guess I can't win.

Maybe one day I'll take him on a Sunday so he can run the bases. Assuming we win, and I'm not fuming.

"I expect that after a loss, letting him run the bases and watching him enjoy it would salve your pain. Maybe not. I doubt even me running the bases would salve my pain after a loss."

I would imagine being a pinch-runner for Bonds in the ninth would salve the pain. Not.

"Swell site," says Jon F., who found a link to EEEEEE! on the Giants' official site. "Contains just the right amount of cynicism and frustrated hope. As someone who was put in front of the TV at 3 months to watch the 1962 Series, saw Willie Mays' 3,000th and Game 1 of the 71 LCS in person -- and saw the subsequent losses on TV -- I can relate to the idea of getting so close and not making it. My family left the Bay Area in 1974, and I've been in the D.C. area for the last 13 years. I do try to get to Philly once a year to see the Giants play."

"Well, this is a pretty cool website," says Molly. "My sister, brother, and I are fed up with the Giants, but we love them so much we can't let go. Like all of you. This is a little confusing, but I like it."

"I think its a great page," says April. "Love reading the notes and comments on the games. You express what all Giants fans (or at least myself) feel. On more than one occasion, I laughed out loud. Got some very funny (and true -- noticed most funny things are the true ones) things in there. And I have been complaining for awhile about the umpires vendetta against the Giants. Good job all around."

Thanks, folks. As always, I appreciate the kind words.

"Just today, he misplayed two routine plays. He went after a fly ball in shallow left-center, then stopped at the last second as he heard Griffey's footsteps. Double. Another ball at the wall was an easy catch, but he jumped about two seconds before it got there. Double.

"He's only been charged with four errors, but that's just another indication of the kindness of today's official scorers. Plus, there's the mental errors of throwing to the wrong base or throws 40 feet up the baseline.

"Is it possible he's not really as awful as he looks? After all, he actually played 44 games in center field for the Cubs in '94. Of course, the Cubs finished last at 49-64 that year."

"Did you ever see him play right field in Candlestick?" says Dan M. "He is really that bad. He would hear the footsteps of the foul line and pull up short on drives down the line -- double. You have my utmost sympathy."

Well, shortly after this, the Mariners decided they'd had enough, too. The waived Hill -- and the Cubs claimed him. The most interesting part here is that he was waived out of the American League -- thirteen teams said "no thanks," and the fourteenth is the team that dumped him. When they claimed him, the Cubs -- unless I miscounted -- had the fifth-best record in the National League, which means that eleven NL teams passed on him.

However, the Cubs' record is worse than the Giants; would it surprise you to hear that the Giants would've grabbed him if no one worse than them had?

"It would sure as hell surpass me if they didn't," says Ben H.

"Well, it would have surprised me if they did," says Dave F. "Glenallen signed with the Ms for $300,000 -- a mere pittance in MLB terms. After the Giants did not re-sign him, he became a free agent. The Giants could have re-signed him, and given that Glenallen and Dusty are supposedly buddies, I assume that Glenallen would have taken the Giants' $300,000 instead of the Mariners' $300,000. The Giants were not interested in re-signing Hill. Either that or Hill wasn't interested in returning to the Giants. I think the former is probably the truth."

Either way, we'll never know. Since the Giants' record was better record than the Cubs', they didn't have a chance to pass on him this time.

"So unless Giants management feels that Hill's stock has risen since the end of last season, why would they want him back?" says Dave. "Hill was a malcontent. He made numerous statements to the press that indicated he was unhappy, and had a very inflated opinion of his worth. His numbers for 1998 are better than those of 1997, but park effect accounts for most of that.

"Unless there is now a milder, gentler Glenallen, there is no reason to feel that he'd be wanted back."

Except the at least monthly statement from Dusty, or Bonds, or an announcer to the effect that the Giants miss Hill's bat. Hey, I'm not saying they're right....

"I am surprised that all those AL teams passed him up, particularly given his low salary. Using him just as a pinch-hitter, he would be a valuable asset to several teams. My guess is that none of those teams liked his attitude either."

My guess is that 13 teams figured that he could somehow find a way to be a defensive liability even if he only DHed. Seriously, I'm still amazed that no team could use this guy as even a part-time DH, and even more amazed that a National League club -- not even the Giants -- picked him up, knowing he'd have to play defense.

"This is where your Giants fan provincialism is showing," says Jonathan. (Well, it's just one place it's showing.) "See, they have this thing where you're allowed, if you pitcher is batting and you want to get him out of the game, to use anyone on the bench to bat in his place. Really. I'm not making this up."

Liar! Infidel! Old Kinderhook!

Of course, what Jonathan says is not exactly true, because I'm pretty sure they wouldn't let that old guy who looks like Bob Lillis, whom we occasionally see on the bench during telecasts, to bat in his place.

Seriously, could it really be that the Cubs picked up an able-bodied player solely to pinch-hit? When's the last time you saw that, especially in a guy who had a long way to go before reaching 40? He'll play defense. In the swirling, whistling winds of Wrigley. And break Cubs fans' hearts. Unless he doesn't.

I wonder if they're gonna work him out at first base -- long enough to prove that he can't play there, either.

Maybe he'll pitch.

"At this early point in the season, it's surprising that they let him go," says Greg L. "I guess they really got tired of his defense, and there's no way, even though he's hitting well, that he's gonna supplant Edgar Martinez as a DH. But you would've thought they could have gotten table scraps for him from some bozo AL team.

"I called this one, in the Giants newsgroup," says Jonathan. "I don't get too many things right, but I nailed this one. Something to the effect that Piniella would, sooner rather than later, simply fire G-Hill after one too many displays of his prodigious defensive powers."

England's own Peter H. says, "As the UK's Sunday night (more like Monday morning) game was the Mariners at the Rangers, I managed to get the latest major league display of G-Hill at first hand. I was giggling through most of the game.

"It wasn't that he played particularly badly, it was just that he failed to contribute something positive at every opportunity he got. I didn't make notes, but I recall some particularly dodgy fielding that helped a few Rangers' runs in and some weak batting including grounding out in a clutch situation.

"Correct me if my memory does me disservice, but I am aware that G-Hill had a bit of a stinker! "It's good to see him on the Cubs; I think that's the very best match for him," says Jonathan. "He's a Cub if ever there was one."

"Oh, so that's what you call them," says Peter. "We say 'bag o' shite' over here, but it's a bit long-winded and you really need to deliver it with a good Sheffield accent."

Copyright ©1998 by Gregg Pearlman

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